How to Become a Better Gift Recipient

You know those moments in life that you desperately wish you could go back and redo?

It was Valentine’s Day and I did not have a boyfriend. Not because I wasn’t crushing on anyone, but because I was 12 and my family had a rule that we were not allowed to date until we were 16. 

But love was in the air of my middle school hallways! Carnations being delivered, parents dropping off balloons, and couples exchanging homemade cards and small gifts at their lockers. I ignored it all, knowing Cupid’s arrow was not aimed at me this year.

As I lugged my trapper to Science, someone (let’s call him “Gabe”) nervously stepped into my path. Gabe stood in front of me with a shy smile, holding out the cutest plush teddy bear and a wrapped gift basket. 

He wished me a Happy Valentine’s Day and handed me the gifts before heading to a different classroom. I stood frozen, completely taken off guard, holding the presents before the warning bell propelled me to class. 

Then I spent the next four hours overanalyzing every angle of the situation with my friends, eventually determining I must give the gifts back to him. 

So at the end of the day I approached him and awkwardly handed back the bear and the basket, explaining that though I was grateful and loved the gifts, I didn’t feel right accepting them when we couldn’t date and didn’t want to lead him on.  

As you can imagine, he was surprised and embarrassed by me returning the presents. He spent money and time and effort picking out those gifts just for me. It probably took a lot of courage to work up the nerve to approach me. I imagine how terrible he probably felt walking out of the school with the rejected gifts. How his conversation with his parents went about the whole situation. 

I think back on that day decades later and part of me dies inside. I feel terrible about the way I handled it! And though I’m sure he has long moved past this experience, an irrational part of me wants to track him down to apologize for the jerk I was while trying to do the right thing. 

Let me help you save decades of regret from a similar experience by sharing eight ways we can all be better recipients of gifts. 

1- Express Genuine Gratitude

Clearly convey your thanks in a warm and sincere manner.  A simple, heartfelt “thank you” that reflects how much you appreciate the gesture goes a long way.

2- Acknowledge the Effort

Recognize the thoughtfulness and effort behind the gift. For example, you might say, “I can tell you put a lot of thought into choosing this; it really means a lot to me.” 

Often, more time, money, effort and thought goes into the gifts we receive than we will ever know. And acknowledging that side of the gift goes a long way toward expressing your thanks.

3- Highlight Specific Qualities

Let the giver know what details you particularly enjoy about their gift. The color, the genre, the practicality, the texture: pick a specific quality and highlight why you love that. 

“I love the color of this scarf; it matches my favorite winter beanie!”

4- Show Enthusiasm & Maintain a Gracious Attitude

Your excitement about the gift can make the giver feel good about their choice. Show enthusiasm and positivity when you receive something, even if it’s not exactly what you expected. 

5- Follow Up

Mention the gift again at a later date. You can send a text or photo, call them, or mention it when spending time together to let them know you are using it and love the gift.

6- Write a Thank You Note

For gifts that are extra impactful, a handwritten thank you note can be a thoughtful way to show appreciation. It adds a personal touch to your gratitude that can be very meaningful.

7- Use or Display their Gift

Even if you use their gift often, they will not know unless you use it while around them. Make a conscious effort to use and feature their present when they are nearby to see you use it. 

8- Model the Behavior of Others

Think about the people in your life who are really great at receiving presents. Reflect on what they specifically do to make the giver feel appreciated. Then work on practicing and modeling those traits yourself!

By actively trying to become a better gift recipient, you will help your family and friends feel more loved and appreciated when they give you presents. Let’s all learn from my Valentine’s Day of Regret and be gracious receivers of gifts.  

For more gift-related inspiration, check out A Postpartum Gift I’ll Never Forget and How to Become Better at Gift Giving. 

Now go out there and gift joyfully!❤️